Yes.

The answer is yes. The doctor is not dumb. She knew. My friend, sister, mom, husband had hope. I wasn't even shocked when they called. I cried when I told my friend since I had to say it out loud. This can't be! This can't be.

I went out to the van in my nightgown with the baby to call my friend. Called my mom, called my sister, called my husband at worked but hung up. I can't tell him at work. But he won't be home when I leave for the dr appt. He can still have hope of a no for a little while longer.

I come in and all of a sudden I get the feeling I get on the roller coaster and it starts up the hill. Your stomach is all a flutter and you think "What was I thinking!?!?" I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this but just like the roller coaster it is too late to get off it is going over that hill crashing down fast. Accept I didn't ask to get on this ride! I don't want to do this!

The kids came home and was here during all of this. I am sure wondering what am I doing out in the van with the baby in my nightgown and mom said we could have all the popsicles.

Off to the dr. Now more waiting. I need more answers. I have so many questions but don't know what to ask or what to do.