Tuesday, December 16, 2014


I haven't written because it sucks and I am horrible most days. I have to hold it all in and when I write it comes out too much and it is hard to stuff it all down again. I am sinking down and now feel like I see cracks in my kids too where they are not who they used to be and yet I just can't talk to them or help them cope when I can't myself.

Every third day after chemo I swear I will not to the next round of chemo. It is just so hard being sick and so much of the time. I hate being sick and fell like I will never be well again. I am half way through with this chemo if my scans come back stable and no growth.

On the medical side my cane really helps me not feel like I am going to fall all the time. I have a messed up port that gives nothing but trouble for every chemo. I have ear rocks aka benign paroxysmal positional vertigo
So basically I get dizzy real easy and mostly when I turn in bed or move my head in certain positions. Supposed to see a special dr about after the holidays.