Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Power of a Pig

I just realized I haven't posted since November. It is easier to not post sometimes and ignore things. Liver has been up still. Just decided to not get ct scan until my regular one since it wasn't that high above normal. Had my scan and blood work will go tomorrow for results. I have been cranky with worry. For the last month I have been super tired, reminds me right before I got dx I was always tired but just thought because I had a new baby. I have also had some other issues no one wants to hear about. I don't want to do another scope, I was so sick the last time. Can't the blood and ct just tell me if it is back or not??? During all of this mental crazies I have been having, our guinea pig died. I am a huge animal person no matter before this. But going through his illness and death hit me more so because of my situation. Chewy was not old, he was sick, we took such care of him and saw him seem to get better. When he turned worse literally overnight I called vet and of course they recommend putting him down. We had already knew there was nothing else we could do to make hime better. The vet that works with guinea pigs wouldn't be in for a another couple of hours so I just held him and he died in my arms a few hours later and before we took him to the vet appt. it seemed to hurt knowing he died before his time of something and not old age. It sucked thinking of putting him down. I am so glad we didn't. It was super hard watching my kids go through this,him being sick and his death. It of course made think of how they would be once I die. So that little pig was pretty powerful at getting me thinking. I want to be cared for, i want hope (chewy did better and lived longer than they thought and his last weeks were special and important to me and the kids), I don't want to be "put down", I want love when I am dying. So hoping all is well tomorrow with the scan and the blood work and that my other symptoms can just be blamed on the radiation damage.