Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Chemo

I haven't written because it sucks and I am horrible most days. I have to hold it all in and when I write it comes out too much and it is hard to stuff it all down again. I am sinking down and now feel like I see cracks in my kids too where they are not who they used to be and yet I just can't talk to them or help them cope when I can't myself.

Every third day after chemo I swear I will not to the next round of chemo. It is just so hard being sick and so much of the time. I hate being sick and fell like I will never be well again. I am half way through with this chemo if my scans come back stable and no growth.

On the medical side my cane really helps me not feel like I am going to fall all the time. I have a messed up port that gives nothing but trouble for every chemo. I have ear rocks aka benign paroxysmal positional vertigo
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vertigo/basics/definition/con-20028216 
So basically I get dizzy real easy and mostly when I turn in bed or move my head in certain positions. Supposed to see a special dr about after the holidays.


3 comments:

  1. So sorry that chemo sucks! And that your port is all messed up -- mine was too, urgh! My thoughts are with you and wishing you all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Prayers sent your way, iM sorry things are hard for u. Cancer sucks

    ReplyDelete