Sunday, January 18, 2015

Really want to quit

I am really sick of chemo. The sick days seem longer and my "good" days aren't that good. I just so so so want to feel better. I know it will take about 6 months after I stop the chemo to start feeling better and I just want to start now. I am seriously thinking about not doing the last month. Will that extra month even help or matter? My onc dr. says no one knows, he couldn't recruit people to do less than 6 months for a study. You know the whole thing with our society that more is better. I only keep thinking how the chemo is messing me up. I am not the person who will regret not doing it if the cancer comes back. I didn't regret not doing the surgery. Till this day I still think I am so happy I got those years without it.
Chemo is hard on my body and my mind. Feeling like this, I have no idea how I would ever cope with "chemo for life".  I am supposed to go back January 26 so I have till then to decide.

4 comments:

  1. Sorry that chemo sucks. Hopefully your doctors can figure out something to make the side effects better. I hope the last few months get better!

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  2. I really appreciate your honesty here! I am putting off surgery and trying all the alternative treatments that I can afford. I wish I could tell you that I have found one that works. I believe they have slowed progression but the cancer marches on.
    Friends tell me I will do fine with a permanent colostomy... really? Like they can know this? I admire all you're doing to be there for your kids. I don't have any.
    I know it is an effort but I'm glad you're writing about what it's really like.

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  3. How are you? I look everyday... Praying for you.

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  4. How are you? I think about you & pray for you.

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