Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Trooper, Shocking!, Ball and Chain

Trooper took another oz from Jedi! He then fell alseep. But of course it is only 10pm. But hey it is a good start! So glad I gave him the water bottles before this since he then knew what a bottle was. And still very glad that I nursed like normal all the way up till the chemo started. I know it may get boring to read about every thing Trooper does but it will help me see the positives and see yes he is making progress when he has bad moments with it. It was so hard holding him with this new cry that I hadn't heard before. It made be cry. I have a new saying, sort of like when I am in heavy labor I chant "I can do it, this is easy, I can do this." I say that over and over again. Right now when I held him I kept repeating "I know what you want. I love you. I am protecting you." That helps to think that I am protecting him. Like a mom that yanks her child by the arm out of harms way of a speeding car even if it would hurt the child and make them be in shock and not understand why you did it, you were protecting them.

Another side effect of the chemo: Shocking!! Yes, really being shocked! Like electricity! I didn't really believe it when they told me it. Ok so no ice and no really cold drinks but heck even a slightly cold drink gives you a long shock when you swallow it. Not even a short shock. The water/drink has to be very warm like when you leave your drink in your car on a hot day. I was so thirsty, very warm water doesn't quench your thirst, but I guess it is better than having a lllooonnnggg shock when you swallow. This is supposed to apply to touching cold things ie the freezer and fridge, must use gloves or oven mits. I haven't tested touching anything cold because after the cold drink was enough to make me a believer. This will be it harder for me to swallows pills now since I usually open a pudding or applesauce cup to help take the pills and then put the leftover in the fridge to use for the next pill. But now I or someone else has eat the whole thing or toss it out. The kids don't like eating cold pudding or applesauce.

It hasn't even been long since having the chemo pump on but already it I am calling it my ball and chain. It is such a pain changing clothes and taking everywhere. It is like dragging a ball and chain around. So I will now even take longer to answer the phone and most liking miss your call and will have to call you back.

Off to bed for me. Hope Jedi and Trooper can sleep. I do wonder how many times he will wake up and how much he will eat during the night.

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