Today was more break downs than usual. I have learned from reading other cancer blogs that it doesn't get all better. It is always a roller coaster of up and down. It is so weird to read so many different ones and can relate to each one of them. What will tomorrow bring? It will be ok to leave my children with my dear friends but it will be hard to pick up Trooper and look at him and have him look back at me because he will want to nurse. He always holds out for me. How long will he go before he gives into the bottle and take more than a few sips?
Jedi will not be putting Trooper to sleep or sleeping with him tonight. It will be my last night nursing and probably sleeping with him to for awhile. I am trying to soak it up, every nursing and look of love and perfect peace he gives me since it will be awhile before he gives them to me again.
Thank you, the comments left do help.