I was invited to a birthday party for a friend, she has terminal cancer. She really didn't think she would make it to Christmas, she keeps telling me that. I swear, I know I have said this before, but still, it amazes me how it is *every* *little* thing it messes up. Something simple as a birthday, a birthday gift, a birthday card. Maybe it is just me, I know I over think everything, and over anylze things but still, I go to get her a gift and there is cancer messing with it.
What to get, I think of me, I think if your going to die it seems a waste for some *thing*, things don't matter you know that for sure now, a thing you won't use very long, a reminder of how you don't need this "thing", who will you give this thing that is given to you. But then I think if you get something that is used up (ie food, candle, etc) it makes you upset too! It means you don't need some *thing* that will last for a long time because you won't be here. Ugh!!! I know just enjoy whatever it is, but it is hard since cancer seeps into everything. Funny thing though, it was the easiest birthday card to write to her. The words came easy. The tough part was finding the right birthday card. All the words didn't fit, go read some bday cards and you will know what I mean, first pretend you will not have another birthday.