Thursday, December 9, 2010

This is a pain in the *ss!

It really is. I HATE this!!!!! Pain is horrible, give me childbirth! It hurts to hold Trooper and that is all he wants most of the time. I have to leave him out of the bathroom or he will see me and he will never potty train after he sees me in there in such pain. So he is outside the door crying and screaming with the Princess saying he needs you, he wants in mommy. I am a mess with this. Everyday since I quit radiation early I don't regret it at all and so glad that I stood up for that. Everything I do is a chore and a pain. My feet hurt all the time ranging from doing good at a 3 to many times a day at an 8. It is so hard to describe since it doesn't even make sense--- my feet and legs up to my knees are numb and sting and cramp and feel like I am walking on rocks all at the same time and if someone touches my feet it sends shocks up me. Yes, how can my feet feel this way and be numb too! My fingers sting and is hard to write with a pen and with every hit of the keyboard I feel it, it is not a normal feelings a short sting. The newest thing is feeling like something is on my leg, like cob webs and I go and try to rub or look at my leg and nothing is there. My feet will feel like they have swollen up and that my feet are to tight for my shoes ( I only wear crocs because of this!) but when I look at my feet they are normal sized. It is really crazy what your damaged nerves can do!

All I think is how will I cope if I have surgery if I can't even cope now.

I have an appt on Monday in Iowa City with the GI dr. to talk about his part of the surgery. Not looking foward to it.

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