This will be long since I haven't been able to blog for a while.
It was round 2 of chemo. I feel like I am in a boxing match. Of course, I am getting beat up very badly, chemo is winning. It totally knocks me out for a at least 5 days and it took 7 days to feel back to normal. It is like night and day between the way I feel. I can't help but feel like chemo is making me sick and not making me better. Someone (who has cancer) told me her first reaction was not to do chemo and had to be talked into it. Now I know why. I feel like they are bringing me to the edge of death to kill the cancer. They say by chemo round 3 or 4 most people will not "recover" and still feel bad the whole time. I hope I can at least stay on this feel horrible for one week and then feel normal for a week until the next round. I then could run around and do all the things I need to do and prepare for the bad week.
The kids, the 4 oldest, are off to cancer camp for a week. It stinks that it is during my good week. I wonder how it will effect them being around other kids with parents who have cancer. I still don't think they "get it". I know there is at least one child there with a mom who is terminal and other gets who definetly get what going on. What will they say to my kids? Will this change my kids? I want them to understand in one way but in another I don't want them to have to know about horrible things.
Ok, it is time for my long, loud scream since I can't type what I want to say.
SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am sure there will be more of those.
Trooper is offically on solids now.(He is 10mths now.) In the last few days he is totally into them now. This is good even though my amazing friend found a super pumping mom who is giving Trooper more than enough milk. This way no matter what happens I have a cushion, he can eat food. I am still not dried up, though I am not engorged or leaking, I can still squeeze a drop out. I wonder when I won't be able to do that?
I cut my hair- it was a disaster. It was a horrible haircut. I can't type/talk about it or I will get mad again. It only looks half way normal when my hair is wet. At least I got the money back for it. Don't go to Great (slash, make that Bad) Clips in Moline.