Thursday, January 14, 2016

I get good news

Feeling so relieved! I got a stable ct scan of my lungs and good lab from my cancer marker, though my liver numbers were in the abnormal high range (though the dr didn't comment on them, so I guess must still be ok). Another 3 months of no chemo!

I am so grateful, but also perplexed. Why do I get the miracle of continued stable news and not others? I hate that others are just trying to stay here but are getting closer to not being here. I pray they get a miracle of more time for them and their families and friends.


  1. I looked today for an update. I have been following you (silently) since 2010. I have never commented. Maybe I wasn't sure it would matter. You don't know me.

    I want to say I have genuinely prayed for you, cried for you, cheered for you.

    I am not even sure HOW I found you. I think it may have been something to do with breastfeeding or donor milk?

    Whatever the case - what stuck with me, is that I had one child. I had worked YEARS to get that one. I had many many losses & all the while I went to church & there was a family I would see. LOVELY couple, lovely interactions & often, a new baby with them. And soon it was 6. This magical number I had always hoped for...6 children. I could imagine nothing better than a house full of noise, and waking & rocking & baths & momma kisses on every booboo. And over & over instead I grieved. And I used to try hard not to be jealous. I did. I had some idea these homes full of children were some amazing gift that likely went not fully appreciated for how wonderful they must be....and then I read your story. And I realized how ungrateful *I* was. While I am lamenting that my life may only have one are fighting to actually BE with your children. And suddenly I found myself invested in wanting nothing more than to see THAT happen for you.

    So I can do NOTHING useful....but hope, pray, keep you in thoughts & be amazed by your courage & fight. I know it's ugly & awful & you likely don't feel courageous, but you are. And I am so glad to have had 6yrs of updates. I don't know if you will read this, but if you do, please know that someone out there thinks of you more than you know....loves you from afar & very much wants you to have that life I envied for so long. I wish you all the blessings that life can offer. You deserve them all. <3