Tuesday, April 2, 2013


I'm still in remission according to CEA, bone scan, and a ct scan! Who knows what is wrong, suggestions have been herniated disk in back, to just the nerve damage from the chemo. I am not feeling so bad like I was but still have the times when I feel weak in my left leg and stumble. And a new pain in my right back calf. So I will just continue to believe it is not cancer from the test results. My dr friend said it would take a MRI to see if it is the disk thing. Ugh, I decided against pursuing it more. I really really really don't want to get back on the dr treadmill. My onc just seemed to not care since the tests came back clear. So I just push on with another annoyance. I will have another CEA blood work at the end of April. I have been able to FINALLY find a shoe that is not crocs that I can wear! For any chemo damaged sufferers out there it is the merrell barefoot tennis shoe! I still had to buy them a size and half bigger. But they feel like the original crocs but of course look so good. Only down fall is they cost serious $$$$$ I would never before pay that much for shoes. I was able to get one pair for $60 at the outlet and another regular price at $90. So hopefully these two pair will last me a long time! Which they should since I don't walk that much and I have gotten so fat which has made me mad. Damn damn cancer has ruined my mind and body. There was a recent study about happiness, quality of life sort of thing in cancer patients and they found colorectal cancer patients have the lowest over other cancers. I know why, oh the things I don't write here. No one talks about this cancer, no one knows about this cancer and the effects, it is an ugly cancer. Heck my spell check always red underlines the word colorectal as wrong, it doesn't recognize this word! Yeah, who would want to write about this! Who would want to read about this icky cancer. There I go on a spout off, yeah, I'm still down a lot. Yes, I am glad I am in remission but don't tell me to stop hating what this has done to me and how it has ruined things I haven't written about here.


  1. I know what you mean about not writing it all...I withheld so many things about B's journey..oh boy...they have no idea how ugly it is until they have done it...praying for you..:)