Sunday, May 26, 2013

Made it 3 years!

It has been 3 years (as of May 17) since my dx. I can't believe I made and still in remission since I was told I would not make it this far. How much farther can I make it??? That occupies my thoughts a lot. It makes me questions everything. Just planning the summer and the coming months for my children made me apprehensive. Should I make all these plans, what happens if it comes back, how would things work out then?? I have one son who *I* drive one hour to gymnastics practice 5 days a week. Who would drive him, could my oldest who is 18 do it, would he, is it too much to ask him to do that? Signed up my daughter, 2 of my sons for things too. One person can't do it all. I need to be here and functioning! Took my baby (now 3 yrs!) to a preschool speech evaluation, he qualified to be in the prek speech program. At first I thought it would just be the speech he would go to and not the full prek program. It took me off guard. I really want to spend time with him BUT I guess I should say yes to the program since if he doesn't go he would have to wait till the following year to get in and what if I needed him to be in prek, if I was sick again it would be a big help. I hate having to think about everything in terms of "if it comes back". I feel like living in limbo, I can never imagine a day where I get to have the "sigh of relief" it is over and ain't coming back.

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